You all have my sincerest thanks for sharing your thoughts and contributing to this lively community discussion. I have been amazed by the warm reception this piece has received. It has been a delight to read your sincere messages, refreshing ideas, and diverse experiences. I did not anticipate such a strong response, and I am grateful. Though I won't be able to respond to each comment, I appreciate your thoughts and the community created here.
We each follow different paths, but we share aging well as a common goal. I look forward to enjoying the journey together!
Inspiring and encouraging, especially for an 87 year old who may, or may not, make it to 90. No guarantees. Therefore, every reason in the world to be fully engaged with now, today, one moment, one day at a time. I believe that those of us who keep learning and continue to exercise not only minds and bodies, but also our Spirits, have richer, more fulfilling lives than those who don't. I want to explore a bit further that notion of not how many years in our lives, but how much life in our years keeps us going. My outlook is colored by my inlook and my inlook is helped along by my outlook. It's a kind of dance with synchronicity. It's being in the balcony watching and on the dance floor at the same time.
Thanks, NIcola. I have much life and I am grateful to be living fully, every day. I can relate this to my current post, "BETTER" which was inspired in part by a friend, Luis Hernandez, who coined the phrase, "more better" or in Espanol, "mas mejor."
And I keep reminding my grandchildren, “It’s not ‘more better’, it’s good better best. Never let it rest, until your good is better and your better best.” 😂 Having now just read your beautifully written ‘Better’ post once, I’m going to save it, return to it, and share it with my grandchildren.
By chance, my husband is watching TV as I write this. The Hairy Bikers have just said, “Faster doesn’t necessarily mean better. Today, we’re talking about the (better) Slow Food movement.”
Love that reminder to your grandchildren and just sent you a welcome email as a new subscriber. Thanks for doing that. You might be interested in the letter I wrote to 11 of my 14 grandchildren over the age of 18 (you know, election coming up in the USA) and you can find it in an earlier post here:
Excellent letter indeed. I have 3 grandchildren, and your letter inspires me to do something similar for them. Thank you! I like how you think, and am subscribing & following you now.
Thanks, Ingrid and welcome to my group of delightful subscribers. I look forward to their comments, now yours, as it’s more fuel that keeps me posting, week after week. I am not sure how I think a lot of the time. Regardless I’m glad it comes through to you and others and I am grateful people find what I write to be sufficiently interested to keep reading and responding.
We can find interesting people everywhere and comments are often as good and as revealing as a post. As I said to Ingrid above, comments are one of the things that keeps me coming back to post, week after week. And I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read and comment.
Katherine, you are a wonderful discovery for me as I sit this morning with my coffee perusing Substack. Life, age and events turn us all into philosophers if we’re paying attention and the things that animate your life are the same things I ponder each day. At 75 my life is dramatically different than at 65. I glance over the top of my iPad while writing this note at my wife of 49 years, a major stroke victim 6 years ago, and I’m oh so grateful for her. I decided only a short time into her tragedy that my life with her would not be a burden or obligation but rather a privilege and honor. She is my best friend. How could it be other? What was once an expansive life has become solitary but never unhappy. I look forward to exploring, through your writing, how you see the world and the wisdom I can take from it and use. I will now include you on my list of ‘philosopher friends’ I read. Thanks for tapping on your keypad each day. You enrich us all.
It seems so strange that we have say, 25 years, of being totally overworked, while you bring up children, work and care for your parents. And then you get to retirement age and it just stops. We definitely need a timeframe based on ability and health rather than numbers!
I am inspired by your post. I've just turned 77 and since my sixties I've tended to always think I have another 20 years. This helps me to keep an ageless mindset, rather than dwell on creeping senility. That you are still writing at 90 gives me encouragement to hang on to this ploy, until I reach my eighties when I, too, will aim for 100. Thank you for the post.
I am so very happy to have found you Katharine and all those who are responding & contributing here. At 73 I am helping to raise my autistic 6yr old grandson. I share some of your educational history (MSW and PhD - @ 60!) and your goals for the future.
In fleeting moments I have longed to pursue some of my desires (hospice volunteering and a baking business) but the joys and education my grandson provides on a daily basis are wonderfully fulfilling now. I’m looking forward to reading more here and learning about others thoughts/experiences.
What a gift you are! Always remember time is the most treasured resource. I have my Master's in special education. The time you are giving is priceless. Your grandson is young and all your help will be seen in the future years. I'm hoping he has talented teachers. I absolutely loved teaching. After teaching I spent 30 years as a principal. I retired to care for my aging mother. Those years were a gift! You are truly a special person who is giving your family the joy of "time" and that so important support they need. No one else could ever do what you are doing.
I'm so grateful to have found you and look forward to hearing more from you Katherine. I'm 20 years behind you but my Mum lived to 98 in great health and lucidity and I may too.
Filling those decades with contribution and connection excite me far more than the prospect of leisure does. Writing and self-expression nourish us as much as our readers and valudate us in a time that can become isolating.
And I agree that the burden of overwork, raising families, and paying mortgages is too much pressure on the under 65s. I'd love to explore more how we can change that.
I agree with you and Louise Aronson about rebalancing our lives. At 64, I plan to retire in a few years, and I hope I have the health and energy to travel. We really should restructure life to allow for more leisure earlier, something where work and education and exploring the world can be more balanced. At a minimum, I like the idea of sabbaticals. Of course, I doubt I’ll sit back in my rocking chair in retirement; as long as I am able, there are things to learn and do.
This is a very complex subject and discussion is often based on subjective experience. I retired at 65 and am very happy and content. I worked for 49 years, mostly in a vocational career, a lot of stress and a lot of time taken to ‘get ahead’ and provide for my family. Heavy involvement in my children’s activities also consumed a great deal of my ‘free’ time. I can’t think of anything I would change. By the time I was 65 I was ready to step aside. I have enjoyed to opportunity to participate in our grandchildren’s life and alleviate stress from our children’s life. I’ve enjoyed the opportunity to travel with my wife on our schedule not on ‘summer holidays’ with the masses.
I would like the opportunity to contribute a bit more to life, but I have found that once shed of the shackles of the workaday world I don’t want to go back to schedules, time constraints and to responsibilities, any of which I always take seriously (probably too seriously). I like the freedom of retirement and I get satisfaction from spending time with my life partner and supporting our expanding family.
I do think that all options should be on the table as you age and more respect should be given to our life experience. It seems today’s generation believe we are all luddites wrt technology because we are not big players on TikTok or Snapchat; therefore, write us off.
Wow, you are a real inspiration for us younger folk. Even at the age of 90, you are still going strong and it sounds like have goals and projects on the go.
Whilst you accept your limitations, you dont let that stop you but carry on with what you can do. Thank you for sharing a legitimate view of what it is like to be 90. I hope I one day get to see that age.
I am 70 (and two days!). I spend 3-4 days/week with my Mom who is 94 and living with my youngest sister. I am grateful to have Mom in my life. What’s next? I plan to spend October in Tahiti. May be that trips after that are closer to home. Who knows? Thank you for your writing.
Dear Readers,
You all have my sincerest thanks for sharing your thoughts and contributing to this lively community discussion. I have been amazed by the warm reception this piece has received. It has been a delight to read your sincere messages, refreshing ideas, and diverse experiences. I did not anticipate such a strong response, and I am grateful. Though I won't be able to respond to each comment, I appreciate your thoughts and the community created here.
We each follow different paths, but we share aging well as a common goal. I look forward to enjoying the journey together!
Warm regards,
Katharine
Inspiring and encouraging, especially for an 87 year old who may, or may not, make it to 90. No guarantees. Therefore, every reason in the world to be fully engaged with now, today, one moment, one day at a time. I believe that those of us who keep learning and continue to exercise not only minds and bodies, but also our Spirits, have richer, more fulfilling lives than those who don't. I want to explore a bit further that notion of not how many years in our lives, but how much life in our years keeps us going. My outlook is colored by my inlook and my inlook is helped along by my outlook. It's a kind of dance with synchronicity. It's being in the balcony watching and on the dance floor at the same time.
The dance with synchronicity, how beautifully you put it, Gary.
Thanks, Emma. Let's keep the music playing and dancing every day.
I love the last few sentences. May you have much life in your years 😊
Thanks, NIcola. I have much life and I am grateful to be living fully, every day. I can relate this to my current post, "BETTER" which was inspired in part by a friend, Luis Hernandez, who coined the phrase, "more better" or in Espanol, "mas mejor."
And I keep reminding my grandchildren, “It’s not ‘more better’, it’s good better best. Never let it rest, until your good is better and your better best.” 😂 Having now just read your beautifully written ‘Better’ post once, I’m going to save it, return to it, and share it with my grandchildren.
By chance, my husband is watching TV as I write this. The Hairy Bikers have just said, “Faster doesn’t necessarily mean better. Today, we’re talking about the (better) Slow Food movement.”
Love that reminder to your grandchildren and just sent you a welcome email as a new subscriber. Thanks for doing that. You might be interested in the letter I wrote to 11 of my 14 grandchildren over the age of 18 (you know, election coming up in the USA) and you can find it in an earlier post here:
https://garygruber.substack.com/p/letter-to-11-of-14-grandchildren
Excellent letter indeed. I have 3 grandchildren, and your letter inspires me to do something similar for them. Thank you! I like how you think, and am subscribing & following you now.
Thanks, Ingrid and welcome to my group of delightful subscribers. I look forward to their comments, now yours, as it’s more fuel that keeps me posting, week after week. I am not sure how I think a lot of the time. Regardless I’m glad it comes through to you and others and I am grateful people find what I write to be sufficiently interested to keep reading and responding.
Thank you, Gary. I can see that this letter needs time to read properly. What lucky grandchildren. Much appreciated, Nicola
I just wrote that down. I don’t want to forget that tidbit of wisdom. Thanks.
What a lovely, expressive comment. I love when I find someone new to read because they have commented on someone else.
We can find interesting people everywhere and comments are often as good and as revealing as a post. As I said to Ingrid above, comments are one of the things that keeps me coming back to post, week after week. And I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read and comment.
Katherine, you are a wonderful discovery for me as I sit this morning with my coffee perusing Substack. Life, age and events turn us all into philosophers if we’re paying attention and the things that animate your life are the same things I ponder each day. At 75 my life is dramatically different than at 65. I glance over the top of my iPad while writing this note at my wife of 49 years, a major stroke victim 6 years ago, and I’m oh so grateful for her. I decided only a short time into her tragedy that my life with her would not be a burden or obligation but rather a privilege and honor. She is my best friend. How could it be other? What was once an expansive life has become solitary but never unhappy. I look forward to exploring, through your writing, how you see the world and the wisdom I can take from it and use. I will now include you on my list of ‘philosopher friends’ I read. Thanks for tapping on your keypad each day. You enrich us all.
Beautiful sentiments Jake. How wonderful to have such a love.
It seems so strange that we have say, 25 years, of being totally overworked, while you bring up children, work and care for your parents. And then you get to retirement age and it just stops. We definitely need a timeframe based on ability and health rather than numbers!
How beautiful it was to read your post.
You are the embodiment of all I hold dear and important - the premise that as we age, we can grow into the person we always wanted to be.
Thank you for your words; they are so meaningful at a time when we are thrown to the wolves posing as eternal youth.
My gratitude. 🧡
I am inspired by your post. I've just turned 77 and since my sixties I've tended to always think I have another 20 years. This helps me to keep an ageless mindset, rather than dwell on creeping senility. That you are still writing at 90 gives me encouragement to hang on to this ploy, until I reach my eighties when I, too, will aim for 100. Thank you for the post.
I am so very happy to have found you Katharine and all those who are responding & contributing here. At 73 I am helping to raise my autistic 6yr old grandson. I share some of your educational history (MSW and PhD - @ 60!) and your goals for the future.
In fleeting moments I have longed to pursue some of my desires (hospice volunteering and a baking business) but the joys and education my grandson provides on a daily basis are wonderfully fulfilling now. I’m looking forward to reading more here and learning about others thoughts/experiences.
What a gift you are! Always remember time is the most treasured resource. I have my Master's in special education. The time you are giving is priceless. Your grandson is young and all your help will be seen in the future years. I'm hoping he has talented teachers. I absolutely loved teaching. After teaching I spent 30 years as a principal. I retired to care for my aging mother. Those years were a gift! You are truly a special person who is giving your family the joy of "time" and that so important support they need. No one else could ever do what you are doing.
I'm so grateful to have found you and look forward to hearing more from you Katherine. I'm 20 years behind you but my Mum lived to 98 in great health and lucidity and I may too.
Filling those decades with contribution and connection excite me far more than the prospect of leisure does. Writing and self-expression nourish us as much as our readers and valudate us in a time that can become isolating.
And I agree that the burden of overwork, raising families, and paying mortgages is too much pressure on the under 65s. I'd love to explore more how we can change that.
I agree with you and Louise Aronson about rebalancing our lives. At 64, I plan to retire in a few years, and I hope I have the health and energy to travel. We really should restructure life to allow for more leisure earlier, something where work and education and exploring the world can be more balanced. At a minimum, I like the idea of sabbaticals. Of course, I doubt I’ll sit back in my rocking chair in retirement; as long as I am able, there are things to learn and do.
This is a very complex subject and discussion is often based on subjective experience. I retired at 65 and am very happy and content. I worked for 49 years, mostly in a vocational career, a lot of stress and a lot of time taken to ‘get ahead’ and provide for my family. Heavy involvement in my children’s activities also consumed a great deal of my ‘free’ time. I can’t think of anything I would change. By the time I was 65 I was ready to step aside. I have enjoyed to opportunity to participate in our grandchildren’s life and alleviate stress from our children’s life. I’ve enjoyed the opportunity to travel with my wife on our schedule not on ‘summer holidays’ with the masses.
I would like the opportunity to contribute a bit more to life, but I have found that once shed of the shackles of the workaday world I don’t want to go back to schedules, time constraints and to responsibilities, any of which I always take seriously (probably too seriously). I like the freedom of retirement and I get satisfaction from spending time with my life partner and supporting our expanding family.
I do think that all options should be on the table as you age and more respect should be given to our life experience. It seems today’s generation believe we are all luddites wrt technology because we are not big players on TikTok or Snapchat; therefore, write us off.
A true inspiration you are. Living in the present and continuing to learn is a perfect life perspective.
Reframing the work environment for the 25 to 65 year olds is an issue we need to tackle in order to ensure life is more than just about work.
Thank you.
Wow, you are a real inspiration for us younger folk. Even at the age of 90, you are still going strong and it sounds like have goals and projects on the go.
Whilst you accept your limitations, you dont let that stop you but carry on with what you can do. Thank you for sharing a legitimate view of what it is like to be 90. I hope I one day get to see that age.
I am 70 (and two days!). I spend 3-4 days/week with my Mom who is 94 and living with my youngest sister. I am grateful to have Mom in my life. What’s next? I plan to spend October in Tahiti. May be that trips after that are closer to home. Who knows? Thank you for your writing.
"Wonder" and "competence". Perfect outlook!
Wow! This is my first knowledge of this special person! But it won’t be my last.
Thank you for sharing your life experiences. Take care of yourself and continue to live your life to the fullest. You are an inspiration.