Reinventing Yourself After 70
A Time for Growth and Development
Most of us imagine our life after 70 as one of gradual decline. Our most vivid images of aging come from our parents and grandparents. We often assume we may be destined to age as our relatives did, rarely anticipating we will experience any major kinds growth and development.
New Research and Good News
Recent research on aging includes many exciting findings. For instance, certain studies have found that neuroplasticity, the capacity of the brain to heal itself, persists throughout an individual’s life, albeit at a decreasing rate. This suggests that despite a decline in neurons as we age, “neuroplasticity helps the brain retain its ability to adapt both structurally and functionally throughout life.” In essence, older individuals can continue to learn, debunking the myth that “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”
There is also evidence that older people have, on average, better mental health than younger generations. Additionally, as we age, emotional well-being and life satisfaction generally improve. We need to absorb this good news and consider what it means that many of us can look forward to years of active, pain-free, and joyful life after we turn 70.
Of course, we will encounter losses and difficulties as we age. However, it is often these losses and challenges that motivate us to grow and develop in new and fulfilling ways. These learning experiences can sometimes lead us to reinvent ourselves.
Milestone Birthdays
Many of us continue to dread our birthdays because they mean we are getting closer to that inexorable decline. However, it turns out milestone birthdays, such as turning 70, 80, and 90, often prompt us to ask ourselves, “How am I doing?” and, “Is it time to make some changes?”
Let’s start with Harry. He recently shared with me that turning 80 was a wake-up call for him. He mentioned that at 70 and even 75, he felt like he was able to do everything he used to do when he was younger. However, at 80, he noticed changes. Both he and his wife have experienced some worrisome health issues that made them realize that their remaining years might well be limited. Whenever they planned a trip or an outing, they would ask each other, “Is this the last time we’ll be able to do this?” Although they don’t plan to move to a retirement community just yet, they have decided to start the process. Harry’s 80th birthday inspired him to use his remaining years more intentionally.
When my friend Suzanne turned 70, she had recently retired from her career in marketing. This meant that for the first time in her life, she had the gift of time for her own pursuits. Years ago, Suzanne, who is white, discovered that James Meredith, the first black student to enter the University of Mississippi, was her second cousin. She learned more recently that she was related to 30 other slaveholders, back to the 17th and 18th centuries. And soon she was collaborating with like-minded people on WikiTree’s US Black Heritage Project. She told me, “Being 70, and healthy, gave me an opportunity to develop my passion, reparative genealogy, and work on it in a really satisfying way.”
Reinventing Myself
For me, my 80th birthday led to a major reinvention of myself. Some of you may know this story. It began a few days after my birthday on an expedition to climb a small mountain that I had scaled almost every year of my life. When we approached the steep part of the trail, I knew I couldn’t make it to the summit. At that moment, I realized my life was changing. I was no longer able to continue as usual. I was growing older. No, I was old.
After this disappointing failure, I found myself pondering important questions about how to make the most of my life after turning 80. I wanted to know the possibilities. I started interviewing a number of people in their eighties seeking answers. To my surprise, the majority of those I interviewed expressed happiness. As I continued my research, I discovered that many social scientists had reached similar conclusions. It turns out that people in their 80s tend to be happier than those in their 70s, and those in their 70s are happier than those in their 60s, what some have come to call “The Happiness Curve.” Furthermore, older individuals are not only content but also engaged in new and different activities compared to those they pursued in earlier chapters of their lives.
These initial interviews turned into a long-term research project. Three years later, they served as the basis for my book Eightysomethings. I had found a new purpose: spreading the good news about aging in today’s world. Since the book appeared in 2019, I began writing a monthly blog on Aging Well, and I have since delivered numerous lectures, as well as participated in podcast and newspaper interviews. Additionally, I have contributed an opinion piece to the New York Times and made appearances on PBS, CNN, and NBC News for their Nightly Films report on World Happiness. I hadn’t started my 80s intending to become an activist for aging well, but I have happily embraced it.
A New Model of Later Life
Turning 90 didn’t bring a sudden epiphany for me. But as I took stock, I realized I had grown and developed in several new ways during the second half of my eighties. I started to identify as a Buddhist and for the past four years, I have been listening to a Buddhist meditation every morning. These meditations have taught me new tools to use when facing challenges and have helped me experience a new sense of equanimity. I have also started a daily practice of reciting three things I am grateful for. For example, today I feel fortunate to be 90, grateful to be writing this blog, and lucky to still be learning and growing.
Many situations beyond our birthdays can serve as launching pads for embarking on new paths: retirement, downsizing, having more free time, health issues, the loss of someone we love, climate change, or the political landscape.
Most of us grew up with the old model of life. According to that model, we grow and develop during our youth and middle age, but eventually reach a point where progress halts and we start to steadily decline. I believe in a different model for aging, one that is both more accurate and optimistic. We can continue growing and developing throughout our lives, right up until our very last days.
For age is an opportunity not less than youth. As the evening star fades the sky is filled with stars not visible by day. ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Katharine Esty is a psychologist, a widow, a mother, a grandmother, and a writer. Her recent book, Eightysomethings — A Practical Guide to Letting Go, Aging Well, and Finding Unexpected Happiness, was published by Skyhorse.
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#aging, #oldage, #health, #mindset, #growth, #happiness
The most inspiring thing about this lovely woman is that she is actually old and joyful. (I’m 71) So many articles talk about great things to do when you’re a ‘senior’ and then go on to describe 50 & 60 year olds. They completely deflate us actual seniors - 70s, 80s and 90s+ folks as if we’re beyond inspiring!
Loved this blog!💕
I am a 71 year old woman- on my fourth career (formerly: textile designer, parent, psychiatric social worker) and now fine artist. Last year l threw myself into the gym and lifting heavy weights. Working at being a silver haired creative powerful barbell lifting senior 👩🎨💪